Book review: Woh sachchi badnam auratein
We have evolved. Today women CAN work, relationships have labels, feelings are defined, people are segregated in genders and life in boundaries. A compilation of stories of women from different walks of life, their reality and for us deviance.
It isn’t easy to walk on an unapproved path and keep your head high. The writer highlights how women of substance, women with opinions and voices, are labelled with this story. What would you call someone or something you don’t understand? A woman who takes a stand for herself is rendered hurt and alone. Despite the cruelty of those around her, she continues to walk her path. A strong message is that even though she is given a derogatory label, even though she is physically and mentally abused, she doesn’t take the easy way output-to leave behind her identity and join the crowd.
The past: You are assumed happy if you are being fed, clothed, housed and not physically abused, teaching given to a female for her life. Silence is her companion, and any sign of life is stifled.
The present: The present female is vacillating between being herself and upholding her mothers legacy of silence. Even the ‘superior gender’ is finding it hard to choose whether to be a companion or a possessor.
The story portrays how a strong soul is pushed into a societal construct called marriage with a person who is her confidant before she is mentally prepared to live the rigours of the new relationship. In the same loop as her mother, the sense of being caged drives her to break the norms and voice herself. The question I am left with is why do we have to choose between being a husband or a friend, between a wife and following our dreams.
The male ego.
A woman can be with anyone she wants and work hard to reach anywhere she wants. Why would you think that you deserve to be part of the ladder she climbs to her successor taking credit for her life. You are her choice, not her need.
The story portrays how a woman balances her career, life, sorrows, success, physical needs, and emotional needs and, with grace, owns every bit of it.
But is it justified to question her because we lack the capacity to understand and function as gracefully? Is it wise to find fault in something you never had the courage to do?
The Author’s own experience with learning life and transforming himself and his thoughts. The highlight is that the transformation was not from within but was given a direction by someone whose younger self considered a deviation from his and his society’s perception of a lady.
A hard choice made- a girl, happy in her life, in her relationships, chooses of not giving her relationship a label. Why? Because she knows THE REALITY and doesn’t want to live in it. She wants to live in HER REALITY, which, as we know, is labelled a delusion. As he ends the chapter, he is scared, scared if this IMAGE of her in his mind will now be shattered. I question, why? Why couldn’t a person have chosen one path then and still choose her own way? She doesn’t have to live up to the image you have of her. That’s the mirage. You still want to define her. As being DIFFERENT..
To make our place in the crowd, do we need to be different?
Or do we choose to be like the people around us, do what it takes to make our place, be successful, leave behind our principles and ideals, but live in the practicality and reality of time.
It leaves me wondering if I have what it takes to make my so-called place in the “successful “ society.
Here a writer’s tendency of assigning roles to his characters is portrayed. A character is either good or bad in a story, and all the rest aligns with what he wants to show. In each story, a female is different; why? She has to be a rebel to LIVE her life; why? One person in her life understands or comes to her rescue; why?
Because that’s how the writer wants you to see it. Even the writer himself is a person of this society and inherently sees the world from the same lens. An eye-opening book. Leaves you with questions and an itch in your heart and head. Maybe this itch will drive me or subside with the lotions of solace; only time will tell.